She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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