If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
When are your genitals available?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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