Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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