I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
