Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
