why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
that's an acceptable place to lick
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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