You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
only you would photoshop your dick
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
