One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
