No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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