Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
