Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
