he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
