My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
