Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
