Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
