Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Randomize
