Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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