on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
