yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
