Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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