I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just tell him i said nine months
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
