Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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