Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
