What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
