My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
