rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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