Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
