I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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