so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
