I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think I won the penis lottery.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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