Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
