Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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