Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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