She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
