ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
