Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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