There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
