Will you blow on my dice?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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