What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
