i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
