Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
