You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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