ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize