why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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