YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
