Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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