life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
