I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
