why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
