i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
