Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
