You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
