how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Randomize
