Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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