Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
