I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
