Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
