just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
