i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
